Issue 72: Embracing Uncertainty
THE LEAP
BY QUANTUM ORANGE
GROW, EXPAND & EVOLVE
ISSUE 72 | EMBRACING UNCERTAINTY
Each week The (Quantum) Leap summarises a key aspect of success into what you need to Think, Feel and Do to create a personal shift.
You make yourself more resilient towards uncertainty by sitting with uncertainty.
~ Mark Manson
THINK
Very few people we encounter in our clinical work are genuinely comfortable with uncertainty.
When we face uncertainty, our brain sends us headlong into turmoil because it’s wired to react to it with fear. As uncertainty increases, the brain shifts control over to the limbic system, where emotions like anxiety and fear are generated.
This system worked very well for cavemen - overwhelming caution and fear ensured survival. But that is not the case in the modern world.
Our brain systems push us toward overreaction when we are faced with uncertainty. We need to learn to override this mechanism and shift our thinking to a calmer, more rational place. In order to do that, we need to be aware of the thoughts rushing through our heads.
Ask yourself:
- What do I do when I feel I need certainty?
- Do I think worrying prepares me for what might happen?
- In truth, has my worrying made anything more certain or more predictable?
- When I worry, does it change the outcome?
FEEL
In order to deal effectively with uncertainty, we must let go of our resistance to whatever situation we’re facing. That does not mean the emotions involved will go away, in fact, what we’re doing is allowing ourselves to feel however we feel (scared, angry, frustrated, disappointed etc) instead of resisting the emotions that have come up.
This kind of acceptance allows us to be present and frees us up to move forward, rather than remaining paralysed by uncertainty and fear.
To be clear, acceptance is not the same as resignation. We don’t accept that things will stay the same forever; we only accept whatever is actually happening at the moment.
Bring to mind a situation you are facing with a fair degree of uncertainty that is out of your control and complete the exercise below.
- Name and acknowledge the feelings you are experiencing.
- Give yourself the space to feel those emotions and explore them without judging them, ushering them away or wishing they were different.
- Ask yourself: 'How can I accept what is happing and show compassion and understanding towards myself and my emotions?'
DO
There are specific things you can do to deal with uncertainty in an emotionally intelligent way. Here are a few examples you can put straight into practise…
Identify the fear as quickly as you can when it surfaces. Allow yourself to feel the fear, acknowledge its message and let it go before it gets out of control. By being aware of the fear as it comes up, you give yourself the power to label irrational thoughts as such and allow the fear to subside instead of intensifying.
Consciously select something uplifting to think about and stay positive by focusing your brain’s attention on this stress free thought.
Don’t ask, ‘What if…?’, ask, ‘What will I do if…?’ Instead of focusing on the worst case scenario, make a list of useful actions you could take to manage the situation.
Build habits and self-care routines that counterbalance any uncertainty you feel by providing stability. When you do so, you’re taking control of your environment and doing things you know keep you in your best form, which will in turn help you feel more comfortable with uncertainty.
When all else fails, breathe. If you’re feeling overwhelmed, spend a few minutes focusing only on your breathing. Get rid of all other distractions and just breathe deeply - focus only on your breath. What does it feel like coming and going from your body? Can you slow it and deepen it? If this practice proves to be a real struggle, count each breath in and out until you get to twenty, and then start again from one.
Read. Watch. Listen.
