Issue 60: Fear Of Success
THE LEAP
BY QUANTUM ORANGE
GROW, EXPAND & EVOLVE
ISSUE 60 | FEAR OF SUCCESS
Each week The (Quantum) Leap summarises a key aspect of success into what you need to Think, Feel and Do to create a personal shift.
Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our Light, not our Darkness, that most frightens us.
~ Marianne Williamson
THINK
Fear of failure is not the only common fear that keeps us from reaching our goals - fear of success does too.
The two are similar in the sense that they prevent us from taking action or making the changes that help us achieve our goals. But we need to deal with them differently because they are different in how they are shaped and how they show up.
Research suggests that the fear of failure is about not living up to one’s own standards, and about self-consciousness, unassertiveness, insecurity, and feelings of anxiety that end up exhausting us, whereas fear of success is characterised by our concerns about other peoples’ behaviour.
This is an important distinction to make. It means that when we are dealing with the fear of failure we need to explore our own expectations, but when we are dealing with the fear of success we need to explore our beliefs about how others will react and what effect it will have on us.
Most people who have a fear of success are not aware of it. The first step to overcoming this fear is to develop self-awareness and understand how it shows up in your life - perhaps you avoid certain situations that could lead to you achieving the goal, or perhaps you procrastinate or suffer low self esteem.
Bring to mind an important goal that you are struggling to work towards:
- What specific obstacles do you think are stopping you from taking action?
- What does success mean to you?
- Where did that belief come from?
- What do you really want?
- How will this success benefit you?
- How will your life be if you succeed?
- What will change for you when you succeed?
- What will it mean if certain people reject you after you succeed?
Recognise that any negative thought patterns you observe may be fuelling your fear of success. When we are anxious, we zoom in on our fears.
FEEL
In most cases, the fear of success is about the consequences of success, not the success itself. The fear is a very real and very old struggle with its origins in our past.
Explore your feelings around the achievement of that goal you have been struggling with by making the space to go within and spend some time in introspection.
- Do you feel like you deserve success?
- Do you fear you will have increased pressure if you succeed?
- Do you feel like people will be jealous and your relationships will suffer?
- Do you feel fearful about the changes success will bring to your life?
- Do you feel doubtful about your ability to succeed?
It’s common to experience these feelings but think they’re normal. The reality is they mean you have a fear of success - and you need to explore that fear so you can let it go.
These feelings can lead to you deciding, ‘it’s just not worth it' or settling for ‘good enough’ instead of what you really want.
Separate the feelings from the facts. For example, how do you know you will have increased pressure? How do you know your relationships will suffer?
DO
The best way to overcome a fear of success is using mindfulness and self-reflection. By becoming more aware of your thoughts and emotions, you can identify and challenge the negative beliefs and limiting thoughts that hold you back.
You will be able to discover patterns of behaviour and explore your past experiences as you gain insight into why you feel overwhelmed by or unworthy of success.
1: Acknowledge the fear and accept it.
Journaling can really help with this - schedule 20 minutes and write whatever comes to mind when you think about your fear of success.
2. Locate the underlying issue.
Recall your earliest memories of it or your experiences with it - what was that like? Who was involved? How do you remember feeling?
3. Avoidance strategies.
What are the avoidance strategies you use to help you ‘run away’ from your fear of success and serve to keep you afraid?
4. Overcome the factors causing the fear.
Decide how you want to act and then do it. Start small and create wins so that your confidence builds - pick something that is uncomfortable but doable. Practice approaching this small fear as many times as possible and rank the fear you feel on a scale of 1 -10. Once the anxiety goes down, pick a more difficult task and keep repeating the process - you are retraining your brain so you will need to be patient.
Many people are too embarrassed to admit they fear success. When you identify this fear, be kind to yourself and practice self-compassion while you clear the fear - you might even be able to enjoy the journey!
Read. Watch. Listen.
