Issue 58: Instant Gratification
THE LEAP
BY QUANTUM ORANGE
GROW, EXPAND & EVOLVE
ISSUE 58 | INSTANT GRATIFICATION
Each week The (Quantum) Leap summarises a key aspect of success into what you need to Think, Feel and Do to create a personal shift.
Give yourself enough of what you want, and you'll never have everything you need. Give yourself enough of what you need, and you'll have everything that you want.
~ Paul Blackburn
THINK
The number one reason people fail in an endeavour is that they give in to immediate temptation rather than staying focused on their longer-term goals.
There is an ongoing battle in our minds between the present and the future - a conflict between what we know is good for us in the long term versus what we want to do right now. For the highest achievers, the future always wins. For others, who give in to gratifying their immediate needs, the present comes out the winner.
Even though we know what is good for us, we will often consciously select an alternative that is worse for us. We ‘give in’ to satisfying our immediate desires because they are more tangible, pleasurable, and instantly gratifying. Keeping our thinking focused on a distant future is much more challenging.
Delaying immediate gratification may be the single most important choice we can make, leading to success in every dimension of life. There are some things you can do to get better at avoiding the temptation to give in to instant gratification, including:
- Empathise with your future self. Before making a decision between instant and delayed gratification, take a moment to think about your future mental state - if you opt for instant gratification, how will the future you feel? Will he/she be happy you made this decision the way you did, or will he/she wish you had opted for delayed gratification?
- Pre-commitment. One of the best ways to protect yourself from the temptation of instant gratification is to make decisions ahead of time. If you can set some of your more important decisions in stone now, you will be less likely to change your mind or go through the hassle of backtracking and undoing your preparations when you come face to face with the choice.
- Break down big goals into small, manageable chunks. Big goals are fun to set and can be motivating, but they can also seem overwhelming or too far off. When you must decide between instant, easy gratification and delaying gratification in the attempt to meet a big, distant goal, it’s hard to stick to your long-term goal. Breaking big goals into smaller pieces with rewards after each step keeps you more committed and more likely to make the best decisions.
If you do the above consistently, you will find it much easier to say no to immediate temptations.
The more aware you become of your automatic behavioural reactions to impulses, the better prepared you are to delay those impulses. Interrupting your default mode does require more energy and can be uncomfortable at first. It can also make you more mindful of your behaviour and reactions.
Think about how you can monitor your distractions first. Phone, TV, and the internet may be a good place to start. You can install apps to monitor your usage and see how you’re really spending your time.
Think about how to eliminate things that tempt you, e.g, it’s much easier to avoid junk food when it isn’t in your home.
The next time something upsets you, try to control your emotions. Think about the choices you have in handling the situation and focus on them.
FEEL
Research shows that when you’re in emotional distress your desire to feel better overrides decision making - resulting in immediate gratification and engaging in ‘stupid’ behaviour, like calling your ex or buying a something you don’t need on credit. Developing self-discipline is all about developing the ability to manage your own emotions.
Address the emotional problem the compulsion is trying cover up.
You compulsively eat tubs of ice cream each week. Why? Well, eating - especially sugary, unhealthy food - is a form of numbing. It brings the body comfort. It’s sometimes known as ‘emotional eating’ - the same way an alcoholic drinks to escape his/her demons, the overeater eats to escape his.
- What are your demons?
- What feelings or emotions distress you?
- What feelings or emotions do you need to manage?
- Are you often led astray by your moods, for example boredom and impatience?
DO
You can train your ability to delay gratification, just like you can train your muscles in the gym. And you can do it in the same way as the child and the researchers in the famous the Marshmallow test - promising something small and then delivering.
Over and over again until your brain says:
- Yes, it’s worth it to wait and
- Yes, I have the capability to do this.
You can use positive self-talk to rewire your brain towards looking for solutions, rather than allowing your negative bias to prevent you finding solutions. Setting If-Then parameters for delaying gratification can also be helpful along the way.
When pursuing a goal, create scenarios ahead of time to allow for easier decision making when pitfalls present themselves. For example:
If I want an extra snack, then I will do 20 squats and drink a glass of water first.
You can also replace an unhealthy choice with a healthy one providing a positive aim for habit change. For example:
Instead of going to bed watching Netflix, I will read for 30 minutes.
Delaying immediate gratification in the small areas builds the muscle that allows us to delay immediate gratification in the big areas.
