Issue 39: The Me First Principle
THE LEAP
BY QUANTUM ORANGE
GROW, EXPAND & EVOLVE
ISSUE 39 | THE ME FIRST PRINCIPLE
Each week The (Quantum) Leap summarises a key aspect of success into what you need to Think, Feel and Do to create a personal shift.
Be there for others, but never leave yourself behind.
~ Dodinsky
THINK
Most of us have an extraordinarily difficult time putting ourselves first.
But we all know there comes a point at which we must.
When a plane is going down, the instructions are to fit your own oxygen mask first. Why? Because if you don’t, you’ll pass out before you can help anyone else. Put yourself first and you get to stay conscious long enough to take care of your loved ones.
If we want to be of any service to others, we simply must learn to take care of ourselves first. It’s critical we understand we are a resource that needs renewal.
Practically speaking, taking care of ourselves also helps develop endurance so we can keep going when others are struggling. What’s less obvious is that self-nurturing means we get to be resourceful, that we tap into wisdom because we’re looking at the big picture of life.
We desperately need to learn to practice the three r’s - revitalisation, refreshment and renewal. Keeping ourselves invigorated means doing the things we find uplifting before the day jumps in and demands we deal with its drama.
To have any chance at truly serving those we want to, it’s crucial we have the health, money and emotional capacity to do so. And our ability to marshal those resources is dependant on a vision of what should be put first.
People often misunderstand the idea of putting themselves first. It’s not about doing whatever you want or ignoring the needs of others - it’s about balancing priorities and understanding the give and take between what you need and what your loved ones need.
Spend some time this week answering these questions for yourself:
- What are the main priorities in my life right now?
- What does putting myself first look like?
- Am I happy with the way my life is?
- What needs to be changed?
- What could I refine?
FEEL
According to the US Government National Library Of Medicine the most common reasons people struggle with putting self-care first are: lack of motivation, attachment to unhealthy behaviours, problems deciding when to begin, problems maintaining healthy behaviours, not knowing the right time to ask for help, and life events that interfere with healthy behaviour.
Explore whether any of those reasons could be at play for you.
Spend some time this week answering these questions for yourself:
- Do I feel guilty or ashamed about taking time out for myself?
- Do I feel that I deserve to have my needs and desires met?
- Am I motivated to take time out for myself?
- Do I feel that doing things for others will ‘earn’ me approval and acceptance?
- Do I regularly check in to ask myself how am I coping?
- What beliefs and perceptions do I need to let go of that stop me from prioritising myself?
- Do feel clear about where to start to prioritise my needs?
DO
Revitalisation. Refreshment. Renewal.
These are the rewards for putting the resource that is you, first. To gain them, you’ll have to create time and space for the things that nurture and energise you.
Not just another box to check off your list, ‘me time’ is designed to recharge you. It’s about choosing to use the time you already have to be more mindfully present with yourself, mind, body and spirit.
You’ll be reaping the rewards of the space and connection with yourself for years.
There are innumerable ways to plan and schedule time for yourself. Here are a few hacks that might help…
Set boundaries and say ‘no’ more often to restore balance in your life. This can be hard to do, but it is absolutely worth it.
Start with the big picture, your calendar: add in all of your commitments for the month.
Next add in ‘blocks’ at least two nights per week and one weekend day/night where there are zero plans. Say no to anything that comes up that conflicts with these free blocks.
Finally, pencil some time for yourself into the pre-set blocks, whether it be twenty minutes or three hours.
Come up with some activities that you find restorative, enjoyable, and energising and then make and KEEP some promises to yourself:
- I promise myself that…
- When I’m feeling sad, I will remember:
- The next time I feel anxious, I will:
- When I feel lost or stressed, I will stop and remind myself:
- I will strive my hardest to:
- If I find myself making excuses, I will:
- I choose to treat myself, always, with:
