Issue 30: Resilience & Compassion
THE LEAP
BY QUANTUM ORANGE
GROW, EXPAND & EVOLVE
ISSUE 30 | RESILIENCE & COMPASSION
Each week The (Quantum) Leap summarises a key aspect of success into what you need to Think, Feel and Do to create a personal shift.
THINK
The practice of compassion - both towards others and ourselves - is an incredibly effective, evidence based method for improving resilience.
When we do something nice for someone the brain releases oxytocin, which leads to increased self-esteem, higher self-confidence, increased energy and even improved levels of happiness and positivity.
The Greater Good Science Centre at UC Berkeley published research indicating compassion increases positive emotions, creates positive work relationships and increases cooperation and collaboration. Research from the University of Twente in The Netherlands has also indicated self-compassion skills promote resilience and serve as a protective emotional mechanism.
It’s very easy to get distracted by the length of our to do lists and rush through the day, not leaving time and space to be present and compassionate with those we interact with.
Ask yourself:
- How often am I deliberately compassionate with myself and others?
- Do I habitually give others the benefit of the doubt?
- Am I compassionate in my assumptions about others?
- How would a person who shared a personal difficulty with me say I responded?
- Do I communicate my compassion? Or just think it?
- How carefully do I listen?
- Do I demonstrate empathy and understanding in both my words and actions?
FEEL
No matter how wonderful your relationships (including the one you have with yourself), at some point you’re going to have misunderstandings and miscommunications. You will get hurt or disappointed.
You can choose to allow those wounds to fester, or practice forgiveness and find healing. When building resilience, the latter is a far better choice. Forgiveness decreases the emotional load you’re carrying and frees your brain to focus on the positive things in life.
In some cases, forgiveness will come naturally. In others, you may need to do some work to get there.
Ask yourself:
- Am I forgiving towards myself?
- Am I forgiving towards others?
- What wounds have I allowed to fester?
- How can I repair those wounds and forgive the person/situation?
DO
Practicing compassion is not just about turning up when big, serious situations arise. You can easily build yourself and others up by banking small, compassionate actions on a daily basis.
Ask yourself:
- Is there someone in my life I could be more fully present and compassionate for? (Eg. By putting down my phone, focusing, listening actively, asking questions etc)
- How can I demonstrate my empathy and understanding more actively?
- How will I be compassionate towards myself this week?
- How can I show compassion for my partner this week?
- How can I demonstrate compassion for/with my children this week?
- Which family member will I reach out to this week?
List a dozen ideas for being compassionate with strangers in small daily moments - like chatting with a cashier, encouraging someone, holding a door open, leaving a nice note, even simply smiling and saying thank you.
