Issue 142: Listening Deeply
THE LEAP
BY QUANTUM ORANGE
GROW, EXPAND & EVOLVE
ISSUE 142 | LISTENING DEEPLY
Each week The (Quantum) Leap summarises a key aspect of success into what you need to Think, Feel and Do to create a personal shift.
Deep listening is the kind of listening that can help relieve the suffering of another person. You can call it compassionate listening. You listen with only one purpose: to help him or her to empty his heart.
~ Thich Nhat Hanh
THINK
Listening is one of the most underestimated superpowers in life.
We’ve all been in conversations where we felt unheard - where the other person nods, but you can tell they’re only waiting for their turn. That’s not listening, it’s rehearsing.
Deep listening is different - it’s not about waiting, it’s about receiving. When you listen deeply, you: make the other person feel seen and valued, uncover what’s really being said beneath the words, and build trust, influence, and connection.
People open up to those who listen, not to those who talk the most.
Ask yourself:
- Do I listen to understand, or to respond?
- How often do I interrupt or finish someone’s sentence?
- When was the last time I felt truly heard?
- What was the impact of that experience?
Deep listening isn’t just a skill. It’s a gift.
FEEL
Think back to a moment when someone really listened to you…
Chances are, they weren’t checking their phone, rushing to “fix” you, or distracted by their own story - because deep listening means being fully present and focusing all of our attention.
Ask yourself:
- How do I feel when someone listens to me in this way?
- What emotions arise when I don’t feel heard? (frustrated, dismissed, invisible)
- How might others feel when I don’t listen fully?
Deep listening transforms conversations because it changes how we feel. When we listen deeply, people soften and their hearts open. The presence, attention and empathy practised in deep listening strengthen connection, build trust and encourage authentic expression.
Which means listening with your full self isn’t just good for the person you’re listening to - it’s likely to have significant positive impact on you too.
Which of your relationships could use a little more of your presence?
DO
There are many practical strategies you can use to strengthen your deep listening skills quickly. Try these three:
1: Be Present
- Put distractions away - phone down, eyes up.
- Ground yourself by taking a long, slow, deep breath before you listen.
- Signal with your body that you’re in the moment (eye contact, nodding, open posture).
Remember: “You cannot truly listen to anyone and do anything else at the same time.” ~ M. Scott Peck
2: Reflect, Don’t React
- Try not to speak too much. When you do, don’t give advice - just reflect what you’re hearing.
“It sounds like you’re feeling overwhelmed”, or “I’m hearing you’re frustrated because…”
This approach shows the speaker you’re not just catching their words, but understanding the meaning behind them as well.
3: Ask A Powerful Question
- Explore with curiosity, without asking too many questions. Avoid interrogation - select a question that will provide insight and understanding.
“What feels most important about this for you?” or “What do you need most right now to feel supported?”
In your next conversation, either at work or in your personal life, set yourself a challenge: say less, listen more. Put the skills above into practise.
Afterwards, reflect:
- How did the other person respond?
- How did it feel to give them that space?
- What did you notice that you might have missed before?
- What was the impact on the relationship? On you?
This week, pick one person in your life and practise listening deeply to them for five minutes. No fixing, no rushing - just presence.
Notice how it changes not only the conversation, but the relationship.
Read. Watch. Listen.
