Issue 131: Embracing The Shadow Self
THE LEAP
BY QUANTUM ORANGE
GROW, EXPAND & EVOLVE
ISSUE 131 | EMBRACING THE SHADOW SELF
Each week The (Quantum) Leap summarises a key aspect of success into what you need to Think, Feel and Do to create a personal shift.
Until you make the unconscious conscious, it will direct your life and you will call it fate.
~ Carl Jung
THINK
We all have a ‘shadow self.’
It’s the side of yourself you’ve been taught to hide: your anger, jealousy, fear, neediness, laziness, sadness, judgment. The shadow self is made up of the traits you were told wouldn’t be welcome, so you pushed them down and tried to be more ‘acceptable’.
But those parts of you didn’t disappear, they just went underground. And from there, they continue to sabotage your life. The influence of the shadow self shows up as overreactions, avoidance, toxic self-talk, projection, people pleasing and perfectionism.
The shadow self isn’t your enemy though - it’s a messenger. It holds your unmet needs, your deepest emotions, your suppressed power.
The following reflection questions will help you explore your shadow.
Ask yourself:
- What parts of myself do I judge or hide from others?
- Where do I act in ways that surprise even me? (“I don’t know why I did that”)
- What triggers me most in others?
This reflection is about exploration and radical self-honesty, because it is only once you meet yourself fully that you can move toward acceptance of your whole self.
FEEL
Facing your shadow feels… messy. Vulnerable. Even a little scary.
You might feel guilt, shame, or embarrassment. But here’s the truth: the more you suppress your shadow, the more control it has over you. When you bring it into your awareness - with compassion, not judgment - it loses its grip.
Your anger might reveal a boundary you’ve been ignoring, your envy might point to a dream you’ve abandoned or your sadness might be asking to be held, not solved.
This is emotional integration: feeling what’s true without needing to fix, hide, or shame it.
Ask yourself:
- What emotions do I avoid most?
- What parts of me am I afraid people will see?
- What do I need to forgive myself for feeling?
DO
Originally developed by psychiatrist Carl Jung, internal exploration like this is called ‘shadow work’ and is designed to uncover the parts of ourselves that have not been accepted.
It’s not about healing everything - it’s about creating space for acceptance and building a relationship with your whole self.
Here’s a few practical steps to get you started…
Spot The Triggers
Think of three things that drive you mad in other people.
Be honest. Ask yourself:
- What’s the mirror here?
- Is this something I reject in myself?
Create Safe Space To Explore
Shadow work needs to be done gently - try journalling, meditating, or speaking to someone you trust. You don’t need to heal - you just need to get real.
Name The Shadow
Give the part of yourself you suppress a name or image you can relate to.
For example: Grumpy Grace, The Critic, The Pleaser.
Let the shadow speak - what is it asking for?
Feel Without Fixing
When intense emotion comes up, stay with it. Breathe.
You don’t have to change the feeling, just observe it.
This builds emotional safety from within.
Offer Compassion, Not Criticism
Reassure yourself. Say things like, “I am allowed to feel this”, “This part of me is trying to protect me”, or “I can hold space for this part of myself without letting it run the show.”
This week, observe one emotion or reaction that makes you feel ashamed, annoyed or ‘off’.
Instead of pushing that reaction back, ask it, “What are you trying to tell me?”
