Validation is the psychological need to feel seen, heard, and acknowledged. From infancy, we rely on others to reflect back to us who we are. In healthy doses, validation affirms our sense of identity and supports self-esteem. But when external validation becomes our primary fuel source, it starts to hurt us.

Why do we seek validation?
Because we want to feel safe - we need a sense of belonging. Acceptance. Worthiness.

Human beings are wired for connection - but in our pursuit of that connection, we often hand over the keys to our self-worth.

And here's the kicker: validation does feel good. But relying on it can trap us in a cycle of needing more and more, until approval has become addictive.

The cost?
We silence our authentic selves, adjust to fit in, and hesitate to take risks for fear of judgment. We live on a seesaw, rising and falling based on someone else’s approval.

Ask yourself:

• When do I feel most validated? And by whom?
• Have I ever compromised my values just to be accepted?
• Do I need praise to feel like I’m “enough”?

Too much validation can feel like confidence… until it’s gone.

To be clear - the goal isn’t to eliminate the desire for validation. It’s to balance it, to strengthen internal validation so we’re not held hostage by the opinions of others.