Issue 122: Boundaries Under Pressure
THE LEAP
BY QUANTUM ORANGE
GROW, EXPAND & EVOLVE
ISSUE 122 | BOUNDARIES UNDER PRESSURE
Each week The (Quantum) Leap summarises a key aspect of success into what you need to Think, Feel and Do to create a personal shift.
You can be a good person with a kind heart and still say no.
~ Tracy Malone
THINK
Holding boundaries is one thing. Holding them when you're being pushed - by guilt, pressure, or manipulation - requires significant self-respect.
Boundaries are not walls, they’re guidelines that define what’s okay for you and what’s not. When people push, it’s not always because they’re malicious. Often, it’s because they’re used to the old version of you, or they don’t like change, but most likely your boundaries challenge their comfort zones.
It is important to remember: just because someone doesn’t like your boundary doesn’t mean it’s wrong. The following self-reflection questions will help you work through your thoughts on this issue.
Ask yourself:
- Where do I think I am being pushed or manipulated right now?
- Am I prioritising others’ comfort over my own wellbeing?
- Do I think I fear conflict more than I value my peace?
Remember: your boundary is valid, even when it’s inconvenient for someone else.
FEEL
Being pushed can trigger guilt, anxiety, and self-doubt. You may feel worried you’re being selfish, fearful they could think you don’t care or perhaps you just feel it’s easier all round to give in.
Here’s a truth bomb from Paul: “The discomfort of holding a boundary is temporary. The cost of breaking it often lasts much longer.”
Tuning into how you feel can reveal a lot:
- Do you feel resentment when someone ignores your boundary?
- Do you feel calm or anxious after standing your ground?
- Does saying ‘yes’ feel like betraying yourself?
DO
The practical steps below will help you remain grounded when your boundaries are being seriously pushed.
1: Pause & Breathe
Responding from calm is far more powerful than reacting from panic - pause and breathe deeply.
2: Broken Record Technique
Calmly repeat your boundary like a broken record: ‘I won’t be able to do that.’
3: Expect Resistance
Pushback means the boundary as been noted and is working - hold your ground. Resistance is a normal part of establishing boundaries.
4: Don’t Over-Explain
The more you justify yourself, the more you invite negotiation from others. State your boundary without explaining yourself.
5: Create A Script
Practise saying your boundary out loud so it feels normal and natural.
6: Check In Afterwards
Reflect on how you feel. Did you stay true to yourself? What helped you hold steady?
Repeat for yourself: “It is safe for me to honour my needs. I can be kind and firm at the same time.”
Action Item
Finish the following sentences:
- Today I will…
- This week, I commit to…
