Issue 118: When Protection Holds You Back
THE LEAP
BY QUANTUM ORANGE
GROW, EXPAND & EVOLVE
ISSUE 118 | WHEN PROTECTION HOLDS YOU BACK
Each week The (Quantum) Leap summarises a key aspect of success into what you need to Think, Feel and Do to create a personal shift.
The armour you wear for protection may be the same armour keeping you from connection.
~ Brené Brown
THINK
We all have protection strategies - habits, beliefs, and behaviours we unconsciously develop to help us feel safe. But what happens when those strategies begin to limit us instead of liberating us?
Protection can masquerade as control, perfectionism, avoidance, humour, busyness, procrastination, or overachievement. These coping mechanisms seem helpful, but are often walls we build to shield ourselves from discomforts like rejection, vulnerability, or failure.
Here’s the truth: The thing you’re protecting yourself from is often the feeling you most need to face.
Feelings aren’t enemies we need to be protected from. They’re data. When you avoid them, you miss the message. When you allow yourself to fully experience them, they lose their power and can no longer control you.
Ask yourself:
- Where in my life do I need to be ‘in control’?
- What feelings do I avoid by staying busy, distracted or overly ‘nice’?
- What habits do I have that feel protective, but in reality keep me small?
The brain is clever. It works hard to convince us our protective behaviours are necessary for safety - when in reality, they’re only temporarily soothing our fear.
FEEL
Let’s take a deeper look at the feelings involved…
What emotion are you protecting yourself from?
Shame? Disappointment? Fear of not being good enough? We all have a default pattern - some of us retreat, others attack, some numb out.
The problem is the protective patterns don’t remove the feeling, they just suppress it until it resurfaces in another way. Burnout, resentment, anxiety and disconnection are all common.
Reflect on your patterns and ask yourself:
- Is this habit genuinely helping me, or just helping me feel better in the moment?
- What’s the real cost of this protective pattern?
- Can I allow the feeling I’m trying to avoid in - and survive it?
DO
Experiment with letting your walls down. Begin slowly and note where you’re protecting yourself out of fear, not truth.
Here are a few practical steps to implement:
Identify Your Patterns
Write down three things you do to feel emotionally safe. For example, over planning, over giving, making jokes. Ask yourself: what emotion am I avoiding when I do this?
Feel The Discomfort - On Purpose
Choose one of your protective habits and pause when you feel it kicking in. Breathe. Get curious instead of reactive. What are you afraid will happen if you don’t ‘protect’ yourself?
Reframe The Feeling
Instead of avoiding the feeling, ask:
What is the emotion trying to tell me?
What would it mean to move through this without the habit?
Let It Be Uncomfortable
Growth is not meant to feel good right away. Trust that the discomfort is a sign of growth and healing. You’re in the middle of learning a new way to be - without the armour - be patient and trust the process.
Celebrate Vulnerable Moments
Acknowledge the times you resist your old patterns - give yourself credit for the bravery of this work.
Challenge: This week, spot one protective habit that’s keeping you from growth. Name it, feel it and choose to respond, not react.
