Issue 113: Energy Vampires
THE LEAP
BY QUANTUM ORANGE
GROW, EXPAND & EVOLVE
ISSUE 113 | ENERGY VAMPIRES
Each week The (Quantum) Leap summarises a key aspect of success into what you need to Think, Feel and Do to create a personal shift.
An energy vampire can never ‘steal’ our energy unless we consciously (or unconsciously) permit them to.
~ Mateo Sol
THINK
Have you ever spent time with someone, and by the end of the conversation you feel drained, irritated, or just….off?
That person is likely an energy vampire.
Energy vampires will deplete your mental and emotional resources by constantly demanding attention, support or empathy. Long term, this can have a significant impact on your health.
Some disguise themselves as helpless victims - nothing ever goes right for them. Others are chronic complainers - there’s always a crisis and it’s often blown out of proportion. There are master manipulators who twist situations to guilt you into giving more of yourself. And there are blamers - who seem unable to handle any accountability and constantly blame others for their problems.
No matter the type, energy vampires zap your resources and often leave you wondering why you spend time with them at all.
Reflection Questions:
- Who in your life leaves you feeling exhausted, anxious or guilty?
- Do you feel obligated to ‘fix’ other people’s problems?
- Have you ever avoided someone just to protect your energy?
FEEL
Appealing as it may be, cutting people off isn’t always an option.
Some energy vampires are co-workers, family or longterm friends. Guilt and obligation are often the biggest traps when it comes to dealing with people who drain you.
The only way forward is to set clear and effective boundaries - then hold them. Doing so is bound to bring up strong feelings for both you and the energy vampire, so it’s important you’re clear about your emotions and ready to handle them.
Reflection Questions:
- What emotions come up when you think about setting boundaries with an energy vampire?
- Do you feel guilty for protecting your energy?
- What feelings are likely to come up for your energy vampire - and how will you handle that?
- How would your life change if you held your boundaries and stepped back?
DO
Ready to protect yourself, but don’t want to feel like you’re the ‘bad guy’?
Here’s a few tips you can implement quickly and easily…
- Get good at reading the signs - if someone is constantly complaining, playing victim or leaving you drained, they’re an energy vampire.
- Limit your exposure - do what you can to keep conversations short and neutral.
- Stop playing therapist - respond with neutral acknowledgement, not engagement. Do not take on their problems.
- Set boundaries - and hold them. If someone is constantly dumping negativity onto you, start by saying, ‘I won’t have this conversation right now.’
- Step back and create whatever distance you can.
- Practice empathy - many energy vampires are so focused on their own struggles they don’t realise they’re having a negative impact on those around them. Blame and resentment will not help either of you.
- Be honest - if you’re close to this person and you think it’s an option, be open and honest about how you’re feeling in the relationship.
- Ensure replenishing, self-care activities are in your diary.
