Issue 108: Uncovering Your Blind Spots
THE LEAP
BY QUANTUM ORANGE
GROW, EXPAND & EVOLVE
ISSUE 108 | UNCOVERING YOUR BLIND SPOTS
Each week The (Quantum) Leap summarises a key aspect of success into what you need to Think, Feel and Do to create a personal shift.
It is not what happens to you, but how you react to it that matters.
~ Seneca
THINK
Have you ever found yourself putting off something important - something you know you need to do, but found yourself avoiding anyway?
Perhaps you avoided checking your emails for fear of what you’d find, or avoided checking a bank account or opening a bill. Maybe you avoided going to the doctor for fear of unpleasant news.
Psychologists call this the ostrich effect, a name given to it by researchers Galai & Sade. If you suffer from this, it means you prefer to ignore negative information, even if knowing about it will benefit you in the future.
Instead of making the best of tricky or challenging situations, people who do this stick their heads in the sand like ostriches (this is a false legend by the way!). They prefer to be optimistic and dismiss pessimistic information. And in doing so, they often make the situation worse.
Think about whether you have experienced any of the following:
- Have you avoided (or delayed) going to the doctor, hoping a problem will go away on its own?
- Have you ever avoided looking at your bank statements or bills when overspending, refusing to acknowledge you have an issue?
- Have you avoided a friend or family member when faced with a challenging or uncomfortable situation, rather than dealing with the issue directly?
- Have you had a relationship break up and refused to accept that it was over and move on?
FEEL
Our feelings drive this tendency to ignore important information. If we feel overwhelmed, stressed or worried we can delay getting information, even when it could improve our situation.
The emotions at the root of ‘ostrich behaviour’ are usually anxiety, fear and discomfort, together with a desire to avoid these and other negative feelings.
It may be easier to pretend that the problem doesn’t exist than to deal with it, especially if we don’t feel like we have the emotional capacity to cope with the challenge ahead. We may be in a job that doesn’t satisfy us, feel we’re in a relationship with the wrong person, regret living where we do, or be struggling with a lack of purpose. Whatever the problem, often when we don’t know what to do it’s easier to just ‘get on with it’ and pretend we’re fine.
The first step to changing a tendency towards ‘ostrich behaviour’ is to identify what avoidance strategy we’re using. Once we admit something isn’t working, we usually feel better about ourselves and our situation because most of the time, things are not as bad as we think.
Spend some time in self-reflection to identify your method of avoidance.
- Do you take on too many new challenges, excessively exercise or clean, or even become overly regimented in your daily routine? What feeling drives these behaviours?
- Do you actively push thoughts away and go on pretending everything is ok? What feelings are you avoiding when you do this?
- Do you overeat or refuse to eat, sleep too much or too little, use alcohol or drugs to numb yourself? What feelings are you avoiding when you do this?
DO
There are four strategies you can implement immediately to help you recognise and minimise the ostrich effect in your life.
1: Practise Mindfulness
Being fully present in the moment and non-judgmentally observing your thoughts and feelings will help you become more self-aware and more willing to face negative information rather than avoiding it.
2: Be Proactive
Take proactive steps to address the underlying problem. This may involve seeking professional help, taking action to address financial problems or having difficult conversations with loved ones.
3: Be Open Minded
Keep an open mind and be willing to consider alternative perspectives or solutions instead of clinging to a particular view.
4: Seek Support
Talking through difficult issues with others can provide a fresh perspective, help us confront negative information and take proactive steps to address challenges.
This week, schedule a meeting with yourself and ask:
- What is currently working for me?
- What do I think I need to improve on?
- What am I finding most challenging?
- Is there anything I am finding difficult to approach right now?
- Am I missing any important information?
Life’s problems can be difficult to talk about and finding the right person to share with can be challenging. We all fear judgement from others, preferring to show our best selves rather than admitting things aren’t going the way we hoped. If we can stop burying our heads in the sand and be honest with ourselves and others, our lives will have significantly less stress.
Check in with people you trust when you need support. Doing so regularly will decrease your stress, prevent any problems getting worse and help you feel differently about your situation. Only then will you have the space to create a life filled with meaning and purpose.
Read. Watch. Listen.
