9 KEYS TO REVOLUTIONISE YOUR RELATIONSHIP
DISCOVER THE KEYS TO MAKING A QUANTUM LEAP IN YOUR RELATIONSHIP SO IT DELIVERS LOVE, CONNECTION & INTIMACY FOR BOTH YOU & YOUR PARTNER.
50% of American Marriages,
40% of Australian Unions
and a third of canadian and new zealand
nuptials end
in divorce
Those numbers are very troubling. And they’re not even the full story…
What the divorce statistics don’t tell us is that it usually takes two to three years for a couple whose relationship has broken up to begin to put their lives back together again. It sometimes takes five years for individuals and families to get over the emotional pain and trauma.
Clearly, we need to make our primary relationships a priority.
Every year, around 50,000 people
in Australia get divorced
Falling in love is often easy, but remaining in love with your partner through all the trials and tribulations of life can sometimes be tricky. It’s important to consistently invest time in nurturing both your partner and your relationship.
We’ve put together the most effective strategies for improving your relationship to share with you. They come from Paul Blackburn, world leader in the personal growth and mindset field, and stem from decades worth of coaching, instructing and courses on reaching your true potential. Paul has also been happily married for nearly 40 years - so he’d know a thing or two about maintaining a healthy relationship…
Implement these strategies and you’ll give both your partner and your relationship an incredible boost that delivers love, connection and intimacy.
1. SAY "I LOVE YOU" WITH FEELING
When you tell your partner you love them, don’t say it off-hand as you rush out the door. Take a minute, look into their eyes and be sincere. The statement ‘I love you’ needs to be treasured – some people don’t say it enough, and for others it can become something to say when they need to fill the silence. When you say ‘I love you’, make sure you really mean it.
2. SURPRISE YOUR PARTNER WITH SMALL GESTURES
Leave a love note in their lunch, run a warm bath to share, bring home their favourite flowers, organise babysitters and take them out for a night, or babysit so they can have a night out with their friends.
3. HAVE A 'DATE NIGHT'
This is time set aside for just the two of you. Work out how often you can manage this and do whatever you have to do so that you can be completely alone. Get dressed up for one another and do something romantic or fun. Note: this does not have to be expensive; it can be as simple as a cup of coffee or a picnic on your lounge room floor.
In Japan,
the divorce
rate has risen
by 26.5 percent
in 10 years
4. SET ASIDE TIME EACH DAY TO CATCH UP
It’s easy to get lost in the busy world we live in and forget to really talk. Allow yourself and your partner 10-15 minutes a day to be together, breathe and talk. This can be while you make dinner, after you put the kids to bed, or when you get home. If you have children (especially young ones) you will need to make it clear to them that this is mum and dad’s time, and they need to be somewhere else for a short while. Do not tolerate interruptions during this time.
5. SPEAK UP
If you want or need something from your partner, don’t expect them to read your mind – it’s unreasonable and you will only end up frustrated and disappointed. Ask for what you want – be direct and honest. If you feel like you need some extra nurturing today, simply tell your partner. If you have had a hard day and you need a compliment, just ask your partner to tell you some of the things they like about you.
In china, the number of divorces has been steadily
rising since 1980 when the figure was just 341,000;
in 2007 that figure was about 1.4million.
6. ACCEPT THAT CONFLICT HAPPENS
We all experience problems in one way or another – it’s part of sharing our lives with another human being. The difference between relationships that work and those that don’t is how well we deal with the challenges we face together. We all need to accept that there will be differences in ideas and expectations between any two individuals in relationship, and, at times, conflict and strong emotions will be the result. In fact, conflict is an essential element in any healthy relationship.
In the context of a healthy, happy relationship, fighting is merely the expulsion of emotion and information about a difference of opinion. Therefore instead of asking, “how can we avoid conflict?” we should ask, “how can we care for each other and our relationship while we are having an argument?” and “how can we learn from our conflict?”
The most effective strategies for caring for each other and our relationship during conflict are learning to listen, empathising and learning to compromise. Regular practice of these techniques unfailingly results in an open, honest relationship.
37%
of people regret their
divorce five years later.
7. TAKE OWNERSHIP OF THE RELATIONSHIP
If you were to write down a list of your most important possessions, what would you include? Perhaps houses, cars, furniture or shares? A prized stamp collection or first edition book? Most of us overlook one of the most valuable commodities in our lives: our spousal relationships.
One of the best ways to improve your relationship is to take ownership of it. While this may sound like an odd concept, it’s actually a very powerful one. If we don’t own our relationships, we can’t accept responsibility when things go wrong. If we decide that we do own it (or at least half of it), we are responsible for writing our own ‘user’s manual’ and looking after it the way we would any other valuable purchase. This approach is transformative.
8. ALLOW YOURSELF DAILY PERSONAL TIME
If you don’t take care of yourself, then you cannot care for your partner. Take at least 10 minutes each day to be alone, breathe and centre yourself. Once you have taken care of you, you will be able to take care of others with much more love and sincerity.
40% of divorced people believe their separation
could have been avoided
9. HAVE FUN TOGETHER
Bring out your inner child. Shakespeare said, “A light heart lives long”, and the same goes for relationships. Joke around, make each other laugh and engage in activities that you both enjoy. Do crazy things and laugh about it. Have fun regularly – not just once in a while. Being silly takes your focus off the daily pressures of life and forces you to lighten up and enjoy yourself. Increasing the fun-factor in your relationship will keep it alive and exciting.
COULD REVOLUTIONISING YOUR RELATIONSHIP BE ANY EASIER?
"I had no idea I could improve my relationship so much just by doing a few small things regularly. I’ve applied the strategies from Quantum Orange and my relationship is so much better!”
Brett
Cairns, Australia
“It wasn’t until I read this that I realised my husband and I weren’t having fun together anymore - we weren’t unhappy but had allowed life to get in the way of the connection we once shared. We’ve been making the space to have fun and it has made such a big difference to how we both feel.”
Robyn
Ottawa, Canada
“I’ve always wanted my connection with my husband to be deeper, but I just didn’t have the time to do anything about it. Oddly enough, implementing the daily personal time recommended by Paul has actually been the thing that changed everything. I’m turning up a much better version of myself with more to give to my husband. He can’t believe his luck and has become as protective of my personal time as I am! We’re in the process of implementing the same time for him and we can’t wait to see the impact that has. Thanks Paul.”
Suzie
Salt Lake City, USA
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"I’m excited about the progress I’ve made since I began using these strategies in my marriage. We're happier and more connected than we have been in years. I can’t wait to discover more of your material in Success Lab."
Bill
California, USA
"I was doing fine before I joined the Quantum Orange community but now I’m hitting it out of the park!! I had no idea that some simple tools and techniques coupled with a wonderful support system could have such an extraordinary impact on my life. I’m kicking my goals, making fantastic decisions and taking massive action. I’m really happy - I feel like me, but 110% better!"
